DANCE SHOW

okay, i admit it.

so i've been working at this new job for a week and a half now and everything has been going great. so great, in fact, that i am beginning to grow concerned that it is only a matter of time before another unforeseen catastrophic event traumatizes my life once again. therefore, in an attempt to surpass or perhaps only delay this immanent disaster, i am taking it upon myself to offer up embarrassing personal information about my past as a temporary hiatus from relative happiness.

and so, without further delay, here is a list of albums i have actually owned - either on cassette or CD - either received as a gift or purchased with hard-earned babysitting money - either currently stashed in some remote corner of my old bedroom for nostalgic value or long-since destroyed...

1. Spice Girls - Spice
2. New Kids on the Block - Hangin' Tough
3. Janet Jackson - Rhythm Nation
4. The Clueless Soundtrack
5. Now That's What I Call Music, Vol. 1 & 2
6. Good Charlotte - The Young and Hopeless
7. Avril Lavigne - Let Go
8. Billy Joel - River of Dreams
9. Classic Disney Songs, Vol. 1 & 2
10. Sheryl Crow - Tuesday Night Music Club
11. Dashboard Confessional - A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar
12. Hot Action Cop - Hot Action Cop
13. Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory AND Meteora

alrighty then. now that i have effectively been completely and thoroughly humiliated, i must admit that i feel slightly less anxious about my impending doom. and just for the record, here are a few albums that i am proud to admit to owning:

1. Five - 5ive
2. The Bobby Darin Story
3. The Best of the Girl Groups, Vol. 1
4. No less than four different versions of The Nutcracker

okay, that's all from me for now.
:-)

surprise! a non-depressing post!

i don't want to jinx it, but i think my life might finally be taking a turn for the better. finally. today was my second day at a new (temporary but not temp) job that is truly great. it's just five minutes from my apartment, pays well, and the two other people who work in the office are awesome. today i spent practically the whole day reorganizing a bunch of stock tapes, which is the type of activity that i actually enjoy.

i'm also in the process of looking for a part-time nights and weekends job doing whatever because i'm still bored whenever i'm not working and god knows i need the money. if anyone has any suggestions, i'm open to pretty much anything that doesn't involve stripping. although, i would seriously consider being one of those stage dancers at forty deuce. those girls kick some serious ass.

okay, that's it from me for now. comment, bitches!

further proof that god hates me

okay so a few weeks ago i was driving home from my shitty temp job (you remember, that one that i wish i still had cause i haven't worked since then and have no money) and i was heading north up highland from wilshire when all of a sudden a car pulls out in front of me from the left-turn lane. i yelled something like "what the fuck, you stupid asshat?" but alas my windows were rolled up. apparently the other car's window was down however, as the driver proceeded to throw a lit cigarette out of the vehicle. the cigarette bounced off my hood and windshield, followed by more expletives from me.

this car in front of me was swerving all over the place, almost hitting oncoming traffic on the left and the cars in the lane to the right. it was also erratically starting and stopping, regardless of the color of the traffic lights on the street, and other cars were honking and swerving out of the way. i realized that either the driver was severely under the influence of SOMETHING or it was a small child who had yet to be trained in the necessary mechanics of operating a motor vehicle. a blind and deaf child. with epilepsy.

it was clearly only a matter of time before an accident was to occur so after a brief inner-dialogue argument with myself, i decided to call 911 to report this psycho before someone got hurt. so i dial 911 on my cell phone and get a BUSY SIGNAL. that fucking "beep beep beep" noise that phones used to make before the invention of call waiting! what the hell!!! i hung up and dialed again, and this time got a PRERECORDED MESSAGE informing me that ALL OPERATORS ARE BUSY. this is not the fucking cable company, this is 911 for the love of god!!! i could have been being raped or trapped in a burning building! the prerecorded message also said "the next available operator will be with you shortly" and "please remember that 911 is for emergencies only, and should not be used for directions or traffic and weather reports." seriously. only in LA. after rougly 3 minutes of being on hold (totally would have burned to death by then) i gave up. right after i hung up i was stopped at a red light with the crazy person driver still in front of me and one car in front of them. all of a sudden psycho driver slams on the gas pedal and plows right into the car in front of them! while the light was still red! fucking nuts. the best part is that there were two cops just standing on the corner across the street (i don't know what they were doing there, but i'm sure it had nothing to do with the millions of 911 emergencies that were undoubtedly occurring in the greater los angeles area at the time) and the cops saw the accident and waved the cars into a side street to deal with the accident. they weren't going over there to help so i made sure to wave one of the cops over and tell him that the driver of the accident-causing car should most likely be arrested for a variety of reasons. he went over to check it out and as i drove by i saw the driver exiting the vehicle. it was this skanky-looking blonde girl who was probably about 17 years old. whatever.

ANYWAY, today i got my cell phone bill and in addition to the $30 in extra fees for going over my minutes (which was all calls to my casting agency which has only provided me with ONE day of work so far) there were two charges for me calling 911! and they were NEW YORK STATE charges. $1.20 for "NY State 911 fee" and $0.30 "Tompkins County 911 Surcharge."

there are no words to express my anger at this moment. oh and by the way, i got $70 worth of parking tickets last monday, i'm going to court on wednesday to fight my $113 jaywalking ticket, and i think my car is about to die.

i think if ONE GOOD THING were to happen to me this week, i just may die of shock.

this is not fun anymore

today i got another job rejection.

so far, in the six months i have been here, i've applied for probably 50 jobs, had about 10 interviews and 10 rejections. i can't go out or do anything at all because i'm broke and i've had to ask my parents for money twice. i hate calling my casting and temp agencies and begging them for work almost as much as i hate the work they find for me. all my friends who moved out here at the same time i did have jobs by now. i don't understand what i am doing wrong. i'm not happy here anymore.

something i have been thinking a lot about lately is how much longer i can take this before i give up and move back home.

i am an angry criminal

so i got pulled over and got a ticket today. only i wasn't driving. i was walking to the library and i got a JAYWALKING ticket. yeah, that's right. apparently it is an infraction to CROSS THE STREET AT AN IMPROPER TIME. there were no cars coming! i looked both ways! twice! but no, that is not good enough in california.

i crossed when the light was red and even though there we no cars coming in either direction a cop car pulled over and stopped me. i politely tried to explain that i was unaware that it was such a CRIME TO CROSS THE MOTHERFUCKING STREET, GODDAMMIT!!! well, fortunately i didn't use that type of language but i was very angry indeed. i was then issued a ticket by a very rude and unsympathetic cop and i have to APPEAR IN COURT next month. apparently this is much more serious than a simple parking ticket; i can't just pay a fine and move on with my life. no, dangerous criminals such as myself need to be repremanded by a judge and undoubtedly ordered to pay a rediculously hefty fine. god forbid we jaywalkers get away with our evil scheme to take over the world, one crosswalk at a time.

when i got home i spent the rest of the day watching the first 14 episodes of season 1 of the show 24, so at least the day turned out to be quite productive. and thus ends today's bitch & whine session. goodnight.

email of the day

last night at midnight my prehistoric, zach morris-ish cell phone took it upon itself to dial my parents house twice. they're on the east coast, so it was 3am their time and obviously my mom freaked out. she heard my voice in the background and realized it was me and called my phone. i was just walking into a bar with some friends so i aplogized quickly and said i had to go. this morning, i find the following email in my inbox:

Spent from 3 am to 4 am last night thinking you had really been taken hostage and couldn't admit it. Called you back but your phone was not on.
Call or email me (if you are alive)
mom

so how long should i ignore her emails and phone calls to let her think i have been taken hostage? i'm thinking a week would be fun.