it's true

hello. let's start with my life story, shall we? it all started in the early eighties, when i was born in eastern pennsylvania. then my parents got married and had some other kids, and then i graduated from college. well there was some other stuff in between there, but who cares about that? moving right along. our story begins in may of 2004 when i graduated from college with a degree in communications (aka the most ambiguous course of study since english and sociology). having sucessfully completed four years of studying, working my ass off, and logging countless hours as a very active student leader, i was excited to see where my experience and my $120,000 diploma was going to take me. shortly thereafter i moved to the los angeles area and discovered the wonderful world of Being Someone's Bitch, and have been an active participant ever since. a brief history of my Bitch positions and duties:

Camp Counselor (aka Underpaid Babysitter Bitch)

• removal of spiders and other "scary bugs" from camper tents
• taste-testing of burnt and/or dirt-covered cookout food
• mediation of petty, child-like arguments (among both children and staff)
• bear, skunk, and poisonous snake lookout duty
• making up rainy-day activities on the spot ("hey kids, let's play Who Can Go The Longest Without Talking Or Moving! winner gets a popsicle!")
• rescue of goggles, towels, shoes, and other miscellanous items from bottom of scummy lake

Film Extra (aka Dime-a-Dozen Bitch)

• waiting around
• listening to other extras complain
• waiting around
• "acting" (standing in the background, sitting in the background, walking in the background)
• being herded around the set
• waiting around

Temp (aka Everyone in the Office's Bitch)

• answering phones
• sorting mail
• making copies
• spending 8 hours per day surfing the internet

i am currently temping as i continue my quest for a "real job," where i will likely be answering phones, sorting mail, making copies, and spending 8 hours per day surfing the internet. the obvious difference between temping and being officially employed being that my mother, 3,000 miles away, will be able to sleep better at night knowing that i am no longer one of the 43 million americans without health insurance. hooray for bachelor's degrees!