okay so a few weeks ago i was driving home from my shitty temp job (you remember, that one that i wish i still had cause i haven't worked since then and have no money) and i was heading north up highland from wilshire when all of a sudden a car pulls out in front of me from the left-turn lane. i yelled something like "what the fuck, you stupid asshat?" but alas my windows were rolled up. apparently the other car's window was down however, as the driver proceeded to throw a lit cigarette out of the vehicle. the cigarette bounced off my hood and windshield, followed by more expletives from me.
this car in front of me was swerving all over the place, almost hitting oncoming traffic on the left and the cars in the lane to the right. it was also erratically starting and stopping, regardless of the color of the traffic lights on the street, and other cars were honking and swerving out of the way. i realized that either the driver was severely under the influence of SOMETHING or it was a small child who had yet to be trained in the necessary mechanics of operating a motor vehicle. a blind and deaf child. with epilepsy.
it was clearly only a matter of time before an accident was to occur so after a brief inner-dialogue argument with myself, i decided to call 911 to report this psycho before someone got hurt. so i dial 911 on my cell phone and get a BUSY SIGNAL. that fucking "beep beep beep" noise that phones used to make before the invention of call waiting! what the hell!!! i hung up and dialed again, and this time got a PRERECORDED MESSAGE informing me that ALL OPERATORS ARE BUSY. this is not the fucking cable company, this is 911 for the love of god!!! i could have been being raped or trapped in a burning building! the prerecorded message also said "the next available operator will be with you shortly" and "please remember that 911 is for emergencies only, and should not be used for directions or traffic and weather reports." seriously. only in LA. after rougly 3 minutes of being on hold (totally would have burned to death by then) i gave up. right after i hung up i was stopped at a red light with the crazy person driver still in front of me and one car in front of them. all of a sudden psycho driver slams on the gas pedal and plows right into the car in front of them! while the light was still red! fucking nuts. the best part is that there were two cops just standing on the corner across the street (i don't know what they were doing there, but i'm sure it had nothing to do with the millions of 911 emergencies that were undoubtedly occurring in the greater los angeles area at the time) and the cops saw the accident and waved the cars into a side street to deal with the accident. they weren't going over there to help so i made sure to wave one of the cops over and tell him that the driver of the accident-causing car should most likely be arrested for a variety of reasons. he went over to check it out and as i drove by i saw the driver exiting the vehicle. it was this skanky-looking blonde girl who was probably about 17 years old. whatever.
ANYWAY, today i got my cell phone bill and in addition to the $30 in extra fees for going over my minutes (which was all calls to my casting agency which has only provided me with ONE day of work so far) there were two charges for me calling 911! and they were NEW YORK STATE charges. $1.20 for "NY State 911 fee" and $0.30 "Tompkins County 911 Surcharge."
there are no words to express my anger at this moment. oh and by the way, i got $70 worth of parking tickets last monday, i'm going to court on wednesday to fight my $113 jaywalking ticket, and i think my car is about to die.
i think if ONE GOOD THING were to happen to me this week, i just may die of shock.
